Why Mass Effect is Pissing me Off

WARNING! WARNING!

SPOILERS INCOMING!

Just don't say I didn't warn you.

My first experience with a Bioware game was Neverwinter Nights. Back then they were recognized as one of the premier rpg makers for the PC, and I've been a fan of the studio ever since. It's still on my to do list to go back and play Baldur's Gate and Icewind Dale, and Knights of the Old Republic, and it's sequel, are 2 of my favorite games of all time. 

Bioware, making George Lucas look like a hack

That being said, Mass Effect is pissing me off. I'm currently in the middle of my first playthrough of ME2 and have played through ME1 twice, so I'll label each complaint with the specific game they're associated with. "But," you might be asking me, "how are the games pissing you off when you're obviously so enthusiastic about them? You just said you played through the 1st game twice, and have moved to the second." Well the truth is I'm really enjoying the games, but there are quirky game mechanics and other nuisances that have marred an otherwise exhilarating game experience for me, thus the hate. 

Imagine how annoying and irrelevant Rob Schneider is in every Adam Sandler movie and you'll get the idea.

Get out of the movie business. YOU CAN DO EET!

(ME1) Why Won't My Squad Help? 

Call it lazy or what have you, but during my playthroughs of ME I've been allowing the game to auto-level my character. Essentially letting the program to decide his(her? eventually) strengths and weaknesses, but more importantly here, his skillset. Why is that important? Because during both of my playthroughs I picked the soldier class for Shepard, and the program never upgrades his skills in decryption, meaning that I missed out on quite a bit things (an unknown variable, since I was unable to access, I have no idea of what was in certain chests/items/etc.). 

Ok, so I understand that Shepard himself (herself... ah fuck it) would be unable to use his skillset to crack open the item, why couldn't one of his teammates, one who obviously has the skills required to do so? In Neverwinter Nights you could hire a henchman to adventure with you. They had little backstory and had absolutely nothing to do with the plot, they were just there to fill in the gaps (mostly) for your character. My personal favorite was Tomi Undergallows (gotta love that name!), a halfling thief with a penchant for dying. 

Here comes halfling death! Arghhhhhhh!!!!!!!......

But Tomi was more useful beyond the battles, if I encountered a chest or other locked device Tomi would exuberantly throw himself at it until he unlocked it (providing that he even could). In KOTOR 1 and 2 this tradition continued and you could directly control a squad member to accomplish a specific task. It was even a gameplay element necessary for progression. But ME doesn't give you direct control over anyone but Shepard, but surely someone as resourceful as Tali could have the skills to crack a code. Or Kaidan. OR FUCKING SOMEBODY! So basically ME is telling me I can't have whatever it is in the box, and FUCK YOU, THAT'S WHY.

EDIT: I've been informed by a friend that the other characters are supposed to help out with this, but auto-leveling in most games like this is basically asking to get screwed. So, my own fault here, kinda. 

 (ME1) YOUR SHIP GETS LOCKED UP!

This thing would kick sand in the Enterprise's face

 

Near the end of the storyline in Mass Effect you return to the Citadel, presumably to head the fleet that the Council and Alliance are forming to take on the Reaper menace and Saren head on. Instead you run into political BS and are grounded, by the Alliance Representative. Now, I realize this is meant to be a dramatically tense moment in the game when it seems that everything you've worked for is just about to go out the window, and a pivotal moment for Captain Anderson. 

BUT ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME??

There's so much wrong here, I hardly know where to begin. Let's start with the fact that Shepard is a Spectre, a special Council Agent answerable only to the Council itself. Some dockhand isn't going to say "no" to someone like that. And back Shepard up with his crew and you've got dock workers clamoring just to get out of the fucking way.

Udinna is an Alliance Representative, he's not military, and for damn sure not Shepard's boss. He's a goddamn politician who, for reasons I can't fathom, has been given direct control of the most sophisticated Alliance ship in existence. However, Shepard no longers answers to him, if he ever did in the first place. He's a freaking Spectre, who, as we've mentioned, CAN DO PRETTY MUCH WHATEVER THE FUCK THEY WANT in Council space. 

Udinna locks the Normandy down from his office. Riiiight. Again, a politician, not a technician, and why in the world would the council give control of their docks to an Alliance agent? Nothing about the docks there indicated to me that they were under Alliance control, but still somehow Udinna is somehow made capable of locking the ship down from the comfort of his own office. 

Though I promoted Anderson to the council over Udinna he still show's up in the second game, just as smug as ever. I'm hoping he dies, horribly. 

(ME2) My squadmates are idiots who get in my way as often as not. 

Really hard to blame this one on Bioware, as AI processes just haven't evolved to the point where games can mimic the ability of an actual person to think and react appropriately. It's all just scripting basically. If this then that. But still watching my guys run around like chickens with their heads up their asses during a firefight isn't my idea a great time, though to be honest it doesn't happen all that often. 

(ME2) Shepard's "death" and resurrection seem really, really contrived. 

 At best I'm left to conclude that Bioware wanted the player to have a new set of characters to fight alongside Shepard, keeping the game fresh, and killing him off and dispersing his old crew to the winds was a pretty convenient way to slide that feature in. Toss in he's now working for a known criminal organization and now you're just irking me to no end. 

Guess which way I've been playing Shepard? 

Not that I don't think the twist is pretty clever, but I just don't see a "paragon" Shepard working with Cerberus, for any reason. 

(ME2) FUEL

• Shepard was brought back to life by an exhaustive, and expensive, 2 year program funded by Cerberus. 
• That same organization then rebuilt his old ship, the Normandy, with upgrades. 
• But for some damn reason Shepard has to finance his own godddamned fuel. 

It's a minor thing, really, but forcing me to use my own credit funds to purchase fuel, IN A GAME, when the expedition is supposedly being funded by this ultra-wealthy organization, just doesn't sit well. I play games to escape reality, not be reminded of what it's like to have to head to the gas station on my way to work. 

(ME2) The Character Miranda

Everything about this woman is really, really, REALLY, creepy. And her explanation that she's genetically "enhanced", particularly in her appearance, is just the icing on the cake. 

The first game didn't go light on the geekdom fantasy girl stuff, but at least one of the love interest characters didn't look like a typical Hollywood actress. Ashley Williams was attractive, but her looks from the neck down were firmly grounded in reality. She had an athletic build, but that was about it. The Asari provided all the teen fantasy material the game needed. 

A hot alien woman, just what every sci-fi fantasy needs :)

But not ME2, they've got their sexpot front and center, and shaking her assets every chance she gets. Her outfit looks painted on, and in one recent and supposedly serious conversation during my playthrough she had with Shepard regarding the welfare of her twin sister she leans over her desk and the game camera cuts to Shepard, with her ASS taking up half the screen. 

Check out that real estate eh?

They're just not even trying to hide the fact that they're catering to a younger audience now! 

Personally, I blame ME's, and Bioware's, transition into the consoles, where the audience isn't nearly as mature. Actually I'll just go ahead and blame EA for that. 

And I'm not even going to go into the implications with her "father" and her basically being a test-tube clone of him. Save that shit for Law and Order: SVU. 

/rant 

 

Minecraft: A Beginning

A short time ago I did a short tutorial conerning how to make your own custom Steam library grid icons. One of the icons I made for myself was for Minecraft, an indie game that if you'd told me a year ago I'd be nearly obsessing about I'd have probably laughed at you, and made insinuations about your parentage behind your back.

Kind of like this guy that I didn't notice while making the icon is doing to the creeper here... I'm so lame

I'd have made myself look pretty damn stu... well I can't really make myself out to be that a whole lot more right? RIGHT?

Dammit

Anyway, thanks to the generosity of a friend, I recieved a gift copy of the game and started tinkering with it. After my constant playing of TF2, and before that Runes of Magic, it was a nice change of pace to play a game where the objectives are set by the player, and the tools to accomplish those objectives are all there in the game. (Granted the limitations of the game won't allow it to accomplish everything, but if you ever played with Legos as a kid you'll know what it's like to create in Minecraft. The fact that your creations can be functional as well as impressive aesthetically is just icing on the cake.

I've added a texture pack here, but this still looks cool with the default texture :)

I'll be honest, graphically the game put me off a bit at first. But the game really has a depth to it that is surprisingly complex, to the point that players are still figuring out some of the game. Doesn't hurt that further depth is being added with regular updates to the game. I still found that I enjoyed it, either playing by myself in my own world or creating a TBT Tower in a world shared with my friends on Steam.

The area we chose for our tower (keep in mind the following was created using creative mode)

The addition I really wanted to make, which I think turned out pretty well.

On the left here you can see the base level of the main tower

View of the bridge and Mattyb's creeper face on the wall (to the right)

The main tower building

Most of the main structures can be seen here

One of my favorite pics

 I've also been following a fellow on Youtube by the name of TheKalmier who's done a number of Minecraft videos explaining how to do various things, I even incorporated a hidden staircase the he made into our TBT tower (not pictured). Following his example I've made some things for my own world:

What I call THE FARM, up top is a wheat farm with a water harvest feature that I'm still working on getting right.

The mobovator/grinder (he didn't invent it, but I did follow his video pretty closely)

And these buildings are clear steps up from where I started from:

The building in those pics still exists, and I'm going to use it later, but for now it's unoccupied until I can get back to it and make it prettier and stuff.

But as should be pretty obvious, I've spent hours building the things you've seen. And somehow even the time spent just collecting the resources for some of it doesn't feel like a chore, as every brick taken out feels like a step toward a subtle yet powerful goal, the ones you set for yourself.

And I'm nowhere close to done with my world yet, I've still yet to (1) sort out my semi-automatic wheat farm (I'm having issues with the ground drying up), (2) create a perimeter, (3) revitalize my starter home and so on and so forth.

I get the feeling I'm going to be playing this one for awhile.

Imaginary rules of engagement

What's probably going to be a pretty common theme, if I continue to work up any more posts about TF2, is I'll be complaining about the Steam Powered User Forums, SPUF for short, and the blatant trolling and idiocy that goes on there, particularly in the TF2 forum section.

One subject that often comes up can be thematically called Imaginary Rules of Engagement, or, essentially, what the SPUF community views as the "appropriate" means of using a weapon/class. This thematic posting covers a range of subjects as varied as sniper bodyshots to the use of W+M1 by a pyro, as mentioned in my last post. I'm going to examine some of these I.R.E.'s in detail in this post, and why I think they're basically full of shit. Some can be researched in their own, as I can guarantee a quick search of the TF2 SPUF forum will result in finding several threads related to the issue, and others are more implied than really actively pursued by the SPUF faithful. Let's get started...

IRE #1: Pyro's mustn't W+M1

(I did cover this in my last post, so if I sound like a broken record here, I apologize) W+M1 means that the pyro approaches a battle with this flamer on, it's used as a insult to imply low-skill level. What it more likely implies is that the person killed is angry at being killed by what he/she considers a "noob" class, and they view themselves as worthy of a more "skilled" death. The problem for the pyro, of course, is that the flamethrower (whichever variant is used) is their main source of damage. That's why it's called a primary weapon. One that earns more kills on their secondary or melee weapon aren't using the class to it's full potential, and are likely limiting themselves to avoid being labeled as W+M1.

There are plenty of times when a pyro flaming away, either at a single enemy (oh noes! noob!) or a full group of enemies. For one thing, the flamethrower does more dps than the shotgun, flare gun, or melee weapon. Is the pyro expected to just let the enemy get away and endanger the rest of the team? No, I think not. You could, presumably, kill the same enemy with a shotgun, a weapon best used for enemies outside of the flamer's range, or the melee weapon, assuming you can HIT the bastard with it. At extreme close range, having to quickly move and fire/swing is, as can be expected under such circumstances, a hit or miss proposition. You'll miss with the flamer too, but you can improve your aim on the fly, rather than killing a whole clip in the attempt at killing a moving, dodging target. Another situtation is having to choose between chasing and flaming, or reloading a dry shotgun, a time consuming process. I'd rather the enemy were dead than kite me (or kill me) while I'm attempting to reload a shotgun. I kill them, I'm credit to team and can move on to the next thing, he kills me I'm feeding the enemy points, and clearing the way for them to work on their next objective.

Another situation involving spraying the flamer is when an group of enemies is encountered. One of the pyro's main strengths is the ability to completely disrupt an enemies advance. Even if you don't get any kills, a pyro can inflict pain and confusion on every member of a group, making the medic work overtime to get everyone healed and not on fire (a task he can't do for himself >:) ) before your team comes along and mops the floor with them. Sow enough confusion and you can kill several members of the group or even all of them. There is no other class with a comparable skill. Other classes can kill multiple enemies at once (soldier and demoman come immediately to mind) but can't create the confusion and panic that a pyro can. Try that using an airblast, shotty, or melee weapon.

If you've played TF2 you might have noticed I've ignored some of the pyros other abilities using various alternate weapons. I've done this on purpose, as the strategies I'm discussing can be accomplished by any loadout, not just particular ones. A degreaser and flare gun are a solid choice for dealing with a single enemy running away from you, as all you need to do is use a method known as the "puff and sting" involving lighting them on fire with the flamer and finishing them off with the crits from either the flare gun or axtinguisher, both of which crit when used on a flaming enemy. Incidentally, killing someone using that technique (despite it, like flaming and chasing, being a legitimate tactic) is also called a noob move.

IRE #2: Snipers must never, ever, bodyshot

This is another one that falls under the mistaken presumption that anyone that does it is a skill-less noob. Of particular note for this fallacy is anyone using the Machina sniper rifle, as at full charge even a bodyshot is enough to kill most classes without an overheal. The implication, of course, is any sniper who can't make instantaneous and consistent quick-scope headshots, is a waste of space and a noob player, and not a credit to the team. Never mind if he just killed a medic pocketing a heavy or a demo spamming sticky bombs. He's still a noob and should feel bad, and in extreme cases uninstall the game, donate their organs to science, and kill themselves.

Who the fuck really thinks like this?

It's been said before, but it bears repeating; a kill is a kill is a kill. Basically a dead enemy can't do any further harm to the team (until respawn, but still...) and thus the sniper has done his job. There's that, and there's also the fact that pretty much every single map is layed out in such a way to eliminate clear open areas that could serve as a sniper's hunting ground. Even on 2fort their one advantage of a clear bridge was eliminated early on by Valve placing a cover over the bridge, leaving snipers on the battlement to deal with not only other snipers but scouts crossing over the top of the bridge, rocket-jumping soldiers, and rampaging stick-jumping demomen. So if a sniper does manage to line up a shot on someone it doesn't last long, as enemies rarely stand still. Sometimes a sniper can manage to fire of a quick-scope headshot on a target such as a heavy, but pulling of a second one for the kill is unlikely to follow unless the heavy is just clueless.

A sniper is meant to be a long-range weapon to take out primary targets as efficiently as possible. Barring other circumstances, I'll take a sniper who'll bodyshot a medic to get the kill over one that will consistently miss or hold their shot during crucial moments in an attempt to headshot and feel "pro."

The only variation of this IRE that I'll accept as reasonable is the sniper only headshotting fellow snipers as a form of respect. The exception, naturally, is any sniper using the Sydney Sleeper, as it can't headshot.

IRE #3: The medic shalt only pocket/uber the following classes: heavy, soldier, demo. (Or: The pyro isn't an offensive class)

Run you fat bastard, RUN

As a pyro "main" who has some clue about how to handle sentry nests and the like (I've cleared them out alone, without a medic, and with an active lvl 3 sentry breathing down my neck), it's infuriating to find a medic that will favor heals and ubers for one of those 3 classes, regardless of how badly they're doing. The presumption is (and not unfairly so, I'll admit) that those classes are best suited for taking out sentry nests or a large number of nearby enemies. Soldiers and demos are particularly useful for nest clearing thanks to their ability to inflict massive amounts of AOE damage.

This one is often self-imposed by the medic themselves, rather than by the community, but it brings to light an underlying criticism of certain classes; they are unworthy of the medics attention and of being central to an offensive push. To some extent, I'm inclined to agree. A sniper shouldn't be the focus of a push, as they have little in the way of any ability to deal with a crowd, engineers should be more concerned with denying an area to the enemy, and spies fall under the same category as the sniper.

But anyone denying that a pyro can make for a powerful uber push, well, simply isn't giving the class enough credit.

Of the three IRE's I've brought up here, 2 of them can readily be seen in just about every other post concerning pyro's and snipers on the SPUF forums. They're a plague on that group of malcontents, and even solid reasoning won't sway them from their firmly held belief. Which is why I'll post there, browse there, and occasionally inject my opinion, but I don't respect the community as a body, at least those that frequent SPUF heavily. Of those who carry large reputations (which are themselves a huge joke) and large post counts, I can think of maybe 1 or 2 that have anything intelligent to pass on to the community.